Thursday, July 26, 2007

100 Sexiest Men? Not! Well, Not Some, Then.

After the poll, which I was not aware of, AfterElton came out with the results of the Hot 100 Guys. The BIG news is that Tom Cruise is not in the list. Are gays now Cruise-phobic? Looking at the list, I am questioning the over-rated tastes of the gays who had voted. Or the IQ, whichever one that is higher.

1. Jake Gyllenhaal
Really banked on the Brokeback Mountain magic. Heath gets the best actor nominations, and Jake gets the hottie award. The effect is not wearing off yet, after all these months. Would I vote for him? If it is between him and Heath. Period. Deserves not to be in the Top 10. Top 50, maybe.
2. Chris Evans
Definitely a Top 10. Perhaps my personal No.1. You can be under my umbrella, Chris. ella-ella eh eh eh. 3. Daniel Craig
Hot body. Enough to be in the list? Should drop lower.
4. Gale Harold
I love him in QAF. Still, hot enough to be in the top 10? Lower.
5. Taye Diggs
We need a black? Not to be offensive, but is he really hotter than others in the list? I would vote for him, but not into the Top 10. Lower. 6. Ryan Reynolds
Yummy. Just stay right there.
7. Hugh Jackman
Hmmm... Anything for his animal wolffy lust.
8. T.R. Knight
Serious? This is a joke. Position 101 is more likely.
9. Ryan Phillipe
I love ex Mr Reeves. A Top 30 perhaps. Not a Top 10.
10. John Barrowman
Who? That was the first question in mind. Thank goodness for google, or more specifically - google image browser, which I know I will be using for the rest of the 'who?' list. So, this is the new hot leader in Dr. Who. Yup, a hottie. But.. lower.

11. Christian Bale
11? I hope that's referring to his size. Think he is alright at 11.
12. Brad Pitt
Higher. Definitely. Mr Angelina Jolie deserves my undying attention.
13. Christopher Meloni
Lower. So what he thrilled gays in Oz? Hot but not that hot.
14. Robert Gant
Love him in QAF, but at 14? Lower.
15. Patrick Wilson
An angel. Hunkie angel, for sure. Higher.
16. Mario Lopez
Lower. This guy clicks nothing on me.
17. Gael Garcia Bernal
Love him, but let's see him in Top 40, instead of Top 20. Time to undress again. Y Tu Mama Tambien effect is wearing off.
18. Ian Somerhalder
Higher. Nothing speaks evil passionate hot sex in a sexier tone than his eyes.
19. Justin Timberlake
First solo album - hot. Second solo album - fat. Yeah. That's what I had said. He's fat. Lower.
20. Heath Ledger
Aww.. Brokeback Mountain effect again. Lower.
21. Paul Rudd
Seriously? Lower. Top 90, maybe.
22. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Hmm. Top 50 for non gay plots in his new mini series. Top 30 for his 'ahem' size.
23. Channing Tatum
Hot. Up to Top 20. Wait! He's dating now? With a gurl? Stay here then.
24. Ryan Gosling
Love him. Stay.
25. Jamie Bamber
Who? Battlestar Galatica guy. Lower.
26. Wentworth Miller
Fine body. Up. Tattoos? Lower. Gross.
27. Tom Welling
Stay.
28. Shemar Moore
Face. Down. Body. Up.
29. Eddie Cibrian
Stay.
30. David Boreanaz
Lower. Really, really lower.
31. Chad Allen
Oh my hotness. Up!!
32. Anderson Cooper
WTF? Down.
33. Josh Duhamel
33? What's wrong with the voters? Up to the Top 20.
34. Randy Harrison
I rather have Charlie Hunnam here. Stay.
35. Jensen Ackles
Hmmmm... Superb! Love him. Should be in Top 30.
36. Cheyenne Jackson
Down.
37. Jared Padalecki
He should be higher than Jensen. Jared is a Top. Unless he bottoms for Jensen??? This does not count. Jensen and Jared should be voted as one. Top 30. 38. Matthew McConaughey
Top 30. For his body.
39. David Beckham
Top 35. Bad taste in wife.
40. Jason Statham
Hmmm... Body-wise, Top 30.
41. Milo Ventimiglia
Hmmm... Cutie. Top 35.
42. Eric Mabius
Oooh... I love him. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.
43. Jensen Atwood
Ew. Nope. Down.
44. Eric Bana
Ooh. Higher. Top 30, at least.
45. Paul Walker
Oooh. Higher.
46. Matthew Fox
Don't mind if he is lost.
47. Josh Holloway
Really, get lost.
48. Tyson Beckford
Top 20, definitely!
49. Zachary Quinto
Ok. Just stay here.
50. Orlando Bloom
What? Higher. Top 30, at least.
51. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Top 90, at least.
52. Neil Patrick Harris
What is he doing in this list?
53. Ben McKenzie
Higher than Adam Brody? Justice needed here!
54. Gerard Butler
Leading a pack of 300 men, and nothing homo from that? Lower.
55. Clive Owen
Okay, this is already low enough. Just stay.
56. Eric Dane
57. Jeremy Piven
58. Andy Roddick
59. Jason Behr
60. J.P. Calderon
61. Johnny Depp
Thank goodness he is here. Just stay here.
62. Keanu Reeves
63. Matthew Rhys
64. Christopher Gorham
65. LL Cool J.
66. Adam Levine
67. Sendhil Ramamurthy
68. Daniel Dae Kim
WTF?
69. Thomas Roberts
70. Kevin Zegers
Higher!!! Definitely higher!
71. Cristiano Ronaldo
Higher!
72. Wilson Cruz
73. Alexandre Despatie
74. Timothy Olyphant
75. Jake Shears
76. Matt Damon
Thank goodness it's him and not Ben.
77. Jay Hernandez
78. John Krasinski
79. Ewan McGregor
80. Enrique Iglesias
He's still hot! Higher!!
81. B.D. Wong
82. Adrian Pasdar
83. Peter Sarsgaard
84. John Amaechi
85. Jesse Bradford
86. Peter Paige
87. Jesse L. Martin
88. Brady Quinn
89. Billy Campbell
90. Jeremy Bloom
91. Ben Browder
92. George Clooney
Ew. Why is he in the list?
93. Tom Ford
94. Cillian Murphy
95. Sufjan Stevens
96. Darryl Stephens
97. James Purefoy
98. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
99. Seth Green
100. Zach Braff

I may have to take up on Jane's suggestion and come up with my own list.

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